10/27/2025
Dave’s Hot Chicken, how’d we end up here? Well my shrink cancelled on me again, so I went to spirit Halloween to check if they had that fuckass rubber horse head: they didn’t. And so, because the crash out is terminal, I figured I’d be a fatass again today. I fucking love outdoor malls, I love big beautiful parking lots surrounded by the same 5 fucking stores in every damn “city”, and by God I fucking love not having any damn walkways. So anyways, I almost died walking across a strip mall to Dave’s Hot fucking Chicken. Now to admit some judicial bias, I have actually been to Dave’s Hot Chicken before, but I think it was around five years ago now and I certainly don’t remember it.
Now onto the meat of it. The price wasn’t awful, chicken sandwich with fries and drink for about 15 bucks, not cheap for sure, but a similar price point to others in the same genre. The spice itself was not terrible; I ordered a “hot” and it was white people spicy but rural white people spicy. As a certified wasian with Sichuan heritage (stolen valor alert), it was a semi-honorable fight. The consistency of the spice however, was a bit powdery. Texture wise it felt as though it was dredged several too many times in Cheeto dust. The pickles were fine. I’m glad they were sours and not sweet pickles, but they were giving half and it would have been better with full. Now, listen ok I’m much more familiar with Nashville hot men rather than chicken, so maybe this is a real authentic sandwich and I’m just a hater (true), I couldn’t fucking tell you. The chicken was plenty juicy, though that made the dredging even more offensively dry. The fries were very fucking whatever, and I’m not that into the pink mayonnaise slop sauce they pawn off on you at these chicken place, so my mouth is basically a desert at this point. But not to worry, the raw ass bun was deliciously wet just for me, for the first time in my stupid bisexual life. Wet ass untoasted bun. Yum. Honestly not even the worst chicken I've had recently. If I were to rank it among other fast food crap I’ve had recently it probably go
So yeah I’d give it a “I should fuck more redheads”(7.2)/10.